i cant help but to be disgusted with all of the people that work in public places that cough constantly into their hands and have to come in contact (either directly or indirectly) with others. not that airbourne pathagens arent bad enough, right? ughh. i’m currently sitting in the office at my little brothers school waiting for his meeting to begin, and the receptionist has given three chldren hall passes to class in the last 20 minutes. this includes my brother. she has also answered the phone several times and coughed on that. and now shes blowing her nose. there are no signs of hand sanitizer anywhere. disgusting. im certainly appalled. and people wonder why everyone is getting sick constantly. ew. 

- Used to think that I was good all alone no matter what. Now, I’m not so sure.

- Was dead set on having children at one point in my life. Actually, at a lot of different points in my life. Now, (thanks to my uncle’s new fiance’s oldest son who is NOT my uncle’s child), I’m not so sure. Like, at all.

- As unperfect as it might sound, i’m totally okay with NOT going back to college. Who the hell said that I needed to be a lawyer anyway? We have enough doctors, lawyers, etc. I’ll do what I prefer at the time, and what pays my bills. As long as I have a little play money left over, I’m seriously not complaining …. that much.

- I need to STOP being so damn lazy! Seriously! I need to start doing more stuff. I use work as an excuse to why I don’t want to do much, and most of the time it’s true. But maybe I should get my ass out there a little more, no?

- Learn how to cook! and LIKE it! Of the few times that I’ve tried to seriously attempt either one of those two things, it’s been an epic fail. I hate cooking. Such a waste of time.

- This one is in direct recognition of the entry above.I need to back AWAY from the fast food. I eat it so much because, like mentioned previously, I HATE cooking. And hate wasting my time doing it.

- SAVE MONEY! For some reason, my mind has made up that, once all my bills are paid and I have money left over, it’s ALL play money (shopping, eating out, etc). Not good. We all know why. Nexxxtttt.

- Maybe I need to come out of the closet. NO! I’m not gay. Well, not 100% anyway. Well, I think I’m more bi-curious than anything. Decisions, decisions.

I think I’m done for now :] more laterr.

JJ,

First and foremost, I don’t know how to explain the amount of shock and heartbreak that consumes my heart with the knowledge that you are gone. It still seems unreal to me, though I know that it’s not. In one moment, the moment that I was told that you were gone from this world, the world stopped. I didn’t know how to feel. I COULDN’T feel. Text messages filled my phone relentlessly with damaging news. With each new text coming in, another part of me left. I was empty. You, the one who had a smile no matter the situation, the one who had wisdom beyond his years, the one who had the ability to love and be loved effortlessly, fell victim to a tragedy that came too fast and too soon. You had so much life and so much ease. You were a great person, and an even better friend. At the moment, I don’t know what to say or what to think. I don’t know how to feel, or what to do. But I’m going to live each day moment by moment. And live with the rememberance of you, and the light of your smile. I think of you every day, and I know that you’re up there dancin’ in Heaven right now. I miss you, and I love you. I’m going to end this with a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson: “It is not the length of life, but the depth of life.” <3

Love always,

Kayla.

So, I realize that complaining about the opposite sex just happens to be completely cliche, but I feel that it’s necessary at this point in time. So here i gooooo:

Question 1: WHY can’t people of the males species ever make up their mind about relationships?! I mean really! One minute they want one person, and the next, they want someone else. Why is it so damn difficult for guys to just stick with ONE female.

Case #1: I dated a guy. We broke up because he wanted to do his guyyyy thing. Next thing I know, he’s dating this other girl. FINE! Him and I stayed friends. But then, out of NOWHERE, he stopped talking to me. He deleted me off of his facebook. He stopped responding to my texts. Blah blah blah. Out of nowhere MONTHS later, I get a message on my facebook from him saying, “I hope to wake up from a text to you tomorrow morning.” So, me being the CURIOUS person I am, I texted him to see what he wanted; asked him why he didn’t just text me. His answer…

“Because I didn’t have your number anymore. SHE made me delete it.” Blah.Blah.Blah. So anyway, him and I started talking or whatever. And then all of a sudden, he decides that he still misses/wants her, which is still FINE, but it is NOT okay that he’s wasting my time … at least that’s what I think is happening here. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.

ANY COMMENTS/SUGGESTIONS?! They’re all welcome. Thanks.

…Question #2 ….

Actually. I don’t think I have any other questions about the opposite sex at this point in time, so I’ll stop there. BUT! I DO want an answer to the one asked above.

In the past 24 hours, I’ve had a similar conversation with a few different people. The topic?

MUSIC.

In my opinion, I still maintain that Biggie forever holds the golden mic for hiphop music. [R.I.P. BIG!] Everything that man said was beautiful. You could have written a Bible of sorts from his music.

Yes, I loved Big. Still do. He forever changed the way of hiphop. Now, here’s my question.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH “ARTISTS” THESE DAYS?! All I hear is who’s ridin on what size rims, and who’s fucked how many hoes, etc. It’s disturbing! And furthermore, noooobodyyy caress. I can assure you of that.

Music is one of the biggest parts of my life. I couldn’t do without it. But, I craveeee the music of words with substance; the music that makes sense! I want something I can relate to. I want something that speaks to my heart…I want music that can make me FEEL something.

Artists everywhere, I am speaking on behalf of every real music fan in existance. Give us something raw and real! We are REAL people, and we REALLY miss the music that let us know that icons of sorts were speaking to our hearts, and not just music producers.

Give us back the music.

I’m completely SHOCKED at the trash that people can talk behind a computer screen! Actually, I’m not shocked .. wrong terminology. I’m disgusted! Who’s ever heard of www.topix.com? Well, if you haven’t, apparently anyone can go to that website and start a thread about ANYBODY, and they can remain anonymous. No names have to be used … except, of couse, the name/s of the people that you’re dissing. And that seems about the whole point of that pathetic website; to tear people down. I was just on that site, actually, just browsing (yes, i’ll admit, i read the shit sometimes, but i dont insert myself in the bs conversations and accusations), and I came across the craziest thing. Something about one of my higher ups at my new job was posted, saying that she’s a slut and she cheats on her husband at work … and then someone else posted something about one of my coordinators! RIDICULOUS! Granted, these people posting things say that they work with my higher-up and, obviously they work with the coordinator, but I mean … SERIOUSLY?! How pathetic can people be to post shit like that on a web site?! That could ruin a MARRIAGE! That could ruin careers and tear people apart in more ways that most people believe imaginable. It truely worries my how misconceptions turn into rumors, and it worries me how fast those rumors fly. I’m not down with that typa bs. Just sayinnn. PEOPLE NEED TO GET SOMETHING BETTER TO DO THAN TO TRY AND PLAY GOD! YOU PEOPLE HAVE NO ROOM NOR RIGHT TO JUDGE ANYONE!

People really need to realize that the vast majority of people in this world are considered “obese”. The image that has been put out there to represent what the media calls “perfect” is damn near impossible for a good portion of every living individual to obtain. Personally, I could never fit the “perfect” image. My body isn’t made to be a size 2. Because of that, people feel the need to point out the fact that I’m not “skinny” enough. Well, thank you to all of the people out there whole feel the need to waste their breath on telling me something that I already know the statistics on. Unfortunately for you, I don’t plan on going anywhere, so you’re just gunna have to keep looking at me. Your options? Either get over the way I look, or stop looking at me. ;]